Working behind a service counter in a medical setting is a lot like living in a fishbowl-except the fish are expected to dispense wisdom, keep secrets, and maintain a perfect BMI. Between the sliding glass windows and the constant keyboard courage of my patients, myc cubicle has become a front-row seat to the best comedy show in town.

1. The Self- Appointed Health Inspectors

For some reasons, my personal health is a mater of public interest. I’ve had patient walk and ask, with total seriousness, “So, How is your cholesterol?”I just smile and say, “Still the same, while wondering If I should pay them for reviewing and asking for my medical profile.

Then the same regular patient greeted me with, “Wow! You’ve lost an ENORMOUS amount of weight!” On the outside, I said “Thank you,”On the inside? I was wondering, Enormous? What did you think of me before- an elephant?!

Then again, his strike number 3.. He told me ” “Congratulations on maintaining your weight!”My God.. I am here to work not to compete for Miss Universe.

2. The Smallest( and Brutally Honest) Critic

If the adults are subtle, the kids are like tiny lie detectors. There’s a boy I’ve known since he was a baby. During the pandemic, I teased him about the stay-at -home ordinance. I even pretended to call the Mayor on my cellphone. He cried so hard his grandmother has to stage an intervention. I felt like the local villain.

He got his revenge, though. One day he looked at me and said, You’re so FAT. Ouch.. I said being fat is the new thing nowadays(technically I am 63 kg before). But I stayed the course, and last year, he returned the favor. He went home and told his grandmother, “Tita Eorie is now slim’! I know I’ve reached my fitness goals when the kid at the counter gives me his official stamp of approval.

3. The Nosy

A regular senior citizen patient slide the glass open and poke his head into my workspace. He pointed at another patient getting a drip and whispered, “What’s the case with that guy? Why the multivitamin? I just told him, “He’s traveling; he needs an immune booster.”

4. The Confident and The Doctor wanna be

Communication is always an adventure. I once had a lady confidently ask to buy “CVO.” I had to gently ask, “Do you mean VCO (Virgin Coconut Oil)? We both had a good laugh.

Then here comes the Referrer, who acted like the Medical Consultant. She referred a dengue patient in our clinic. The dengue patient was seen and prescribed tablets, Then the Referer started hounding me via text message. ” Why tablets? It was supposed to be drops! “The tone was high-pitched and arrogant. I had to remind her: ” The doctor has assessed the patient. The patient is satisfied.” Madamme not all patients have the same diagnosis, drops may work for you but to some may not.. let us just leave the diagnosis and prescribing of medicines to the doctors.

5. The Worry Wart and the Final Arc

Then there’s the Doctor Drama. I had a patient terrified that if she seek consultation for her mother with Doctor B, Doctor A would be “mad” at her. I told her, “You let your fear consume you. See your mother needs medical attention . It’s your right to choose! Sometime I’am a pharmacist; sometime I’m a life coach.

Through boredom I blurted out of resigning, then one of the maintenance staff told me “No, You will be here until your last breath.” Then the Accounting bluntly painted the picture for me:” What will it be like when you’re still here in your old age, mixing medicines with someone holding your shaky hand to steady the vial.”and everyone is laughing.

Behind this glass, there are drama and the comedy,